Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

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Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A man walked into a bar. He got a head trauma and committed suicide.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it tried but was hit by a truck at the halfway point.

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What did Jimmy say when the bully poured milk on his head? Nothing, instead he took out a shank and proceeded to stab him 30 times and let him bleed to death for being a douche.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

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What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops