What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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roses are red. violets are violet...

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink and sighs heavily, waiting to escape the reality of his broken home, his cheating wife, and his high school dropout kid.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? I don't know. He couldn't open it.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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your mom died.

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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