- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Jimmy cross the road? Because a chicken was about to cross the road, and he wanted to be kind and help the old 72-aged chicken get across the road. Because Jimmy had a grandfather that passed away because he was too old and nobody helped him cross the road. Jimmy is haunted by that memory and doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. Especially a chicken.... Also there were no cars and his best friend chicken was on the other side waiting for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Want to hear an urban legend? There's a straight feminist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

leon harney ya pikey

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two men are walking in a forest And they find this deep whole, so they spit in it to see how deep it but they here nothing So they throw a rock in and still hear nothing Them they find this old tramission and throw that in. A couple second later the goat comes running by and jumps in the whole A couple minutes pass and an old farmer walks up and asks if they had seen his goat and they replied" yea it just ran and jumped into that whole. The farmer says "that's weird considering I had him tied up to an old tramission

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

thumb_up thumb_down -4

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

refridgrator

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops