what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

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What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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why did the chicken cross the road? orange you glad I didn't say banana

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What god did Bill believe in? No god, Bill is an athiest

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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to get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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