There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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Why do African-American people like fried chicken and watermelon? Because they are delicious food items.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

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Why did the man have an erection? He had just masturbated.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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What dog keeps the best time? All dogs will keep reasonably good time as far as their care is concerned, if they have a stable home routine.

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Two men go hunting and one has a sudden heart attack. The other man calls 911 and immediately tells the operator his location and the nature of the emergency. Rescue workers arrive on the scene in a timely manner and the man makes a full recovery.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No Neither have I

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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