what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

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yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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i like pie.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family of four.

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What's green, long, and covered in forks? Grass. I lied about the forks.

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? What's up

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new girlfriend? Neither has he.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? seriously all my friends r jerks n break the door down...wow ur polite....um ok WHO'S THERE? THE REAPER oh sh** dude! NO ONES HOME! "in other news this evening, two local men found dead on theyre living room floors. Police say the front door was smashed in...an obvious sign of forced entry. The two men were apparently reading a webpage called anti-joke before suddenly having an unexplained heart attack and dieing....heh heh hey nancy...why did the chicken cross the road? because he thuroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic." "HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......GASP! GA FA! GAA *gargle*" "wow...in other OTHER news i just killed nancy...."*runs* JOKES KILL >:}

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You're not that bad...you're still better at giving hand jobs than your dad is."

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops