Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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A Man buys a Prius. Hated it.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

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Where did the watch-dog take the blind man on Saturday afternoon? Wherever the blind man wanted to go

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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