How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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Me: Ask me if im a penguin friend: are you a penguin? me: no.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

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what's the difference between fulham and sunderland ? hugh grant and lilly allen's dad

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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captcha: all yer base

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Yo momma's so fat that when she went to Seaworld and a whale saw her, looked away, and continued on with its daily life.

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what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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whats black? a black man

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the grass is always greener on the other side.

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Women's rights.

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What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Jew? The Bucket.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? A penguin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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