Heartlight

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Penis... Okay...

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Bye, Ax... Nerochan, you just gonna leave me in this state? I mean wont you stop it? I know hypnosis and all but I mean I have like black belt in hypnosis but since you began it, I do not really want to stop it.

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How much does a polar bear way? Near 1,100 pounds.

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What's long and hard and looks like plastic? A plastic baton.

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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What's the difference between an elephant and a toaster. A lot of things.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to....

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? He had no arms… Why did he have no arms? Jimmy was a potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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