What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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