Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops