Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Petunia say to the other Petunia Hi there Petunia

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops