A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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When writing haikus Sometimes, I miscount the syllables See, that line has eight.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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A man walks into a bar... OW!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fire extinguisher. Fire extinguisher who? POMEGRANITES.

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Women's rights

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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karn chevalier

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops