A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

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Once upon a time there was a man sleeping, Then he woke up.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

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what do you call a black man flying an airplane a pilot, you racist

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops