Why was billy sad? He was being brutally hacked to peices behind his garage

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

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What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

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If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

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Terry has ebola

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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Just got back from the corner store. Bought 3 corners.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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