What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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A guy with a severe attention deficit walks into a bar and... oh, look, the sky is pretty... wait, what was I saying ?

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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What did the man say when he put his genitals in a blender? Argggghhh!

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what would happen if american army lost their air supprt ? lmao

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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a chinese man pays the full price

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops