so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

Saggy Nipples By chan chan

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

Antoni Wilkinsin

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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