What's city is in New York New York City

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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How did the young boy cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not suzie!!

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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A midget goes up to a prostitute and asks "what’s the worst joke you ever heard?" She replies "probably this one

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Why was the black man tired? It was 3 AM, and he just came back from his demanding job as a surgeon.

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What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops