What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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how much fish could a chicken

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

How do you tell a clown his fly is open? Say sir your fly is open. Then beat him with a pipe until you cant tell what used to be his face.

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

Man, It's so hot in here that the horses name is friday.

What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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