Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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Donkey lips

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Why is there such a big box because there is some writing down here :)

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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