Two ladies are walking down a road. One says, "It's freezing out here!" and then the other woman, who is a scientist, says "No it's not freezing. The freezing point of oxygen is -365.82 degrees F. So, unless it is actually that temperature outdoors, I highly doubt that it is freezing outside."

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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-knock knock! -doors open

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sfdg

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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