My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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My friend and I were telling jokes the other day. Ha said " I've run out of dead baby jokes!" to which I replied " I've run out of dead babies."

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How did the chicken cross the road. He didn't he was ran over by a bus.

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Nuneaton..

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yo mama so fat she died from a heart attack

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Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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I have sexdaily. I mean dyslexic. Fcuk!

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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why did the monkey buy a shoe? to put em on!!!!

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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