Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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Thats a real shame. How come your eyes are red to begin with? You can use hypnosis to change the color, but if you never learned how, I am not gonna teach you.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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why didn't the bully beat up the nerds? His mom got arrested for molestation and his dad got sent to Afganistan so he was too depressed to beat them up.

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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Why didn't Debbie go to the theme park with the rest of her family? Because she died the week before.

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girls basketball

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I hated the Reading festival, i'm dyslexic. I hated it because my family died in a housefire while I was there.

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops