whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Whats worse then getting hit by a truck? Getting hit by a turkey!

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how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because she was proud of her work as Chief Marketing Director of Tropicana.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Why was Sally crying? Because she had a frog stapled to her face.

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

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If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

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Other Guy: What are you looking at? Me: You.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

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What you reading? reading?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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