Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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jibby jobby

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Mary had a little lamb... that's what she gets for having intercourse with the farm animals.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Tell you something funny.

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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MySpace.

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No, its just his eye, its infected, he gets fever and well, that is all I should say. Nero is my friend and I do not like it when people lie to him, he is outside having a cigarette, I do not think he wants to speak with you anymore. Bye.

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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