a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy punch a little kid in the face? Because he was a bully and liked to feel superior.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rick Santorum 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did batman say to robin before they entered the batmobile? Get in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A duck quacks in a mountain range. No one on or nearby the mountains hears the duck because ducks' quacks don't echo.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do a plane and a flight attendant have in common? They're both going somewhere in their careers. Aside from the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops