A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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Harry Chappell raped someone

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Q. what sucks A. getting robbed loosing your family and then you die by cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I don't know anyone... Uh...who are you?

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How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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