What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Accept for cancer.

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Why did the blonde blow up? She ate a bomb.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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Q: Who lives in a pinaple under the sea? A: Garry

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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Q: why do shower heads have 11 holes? A: Jews only have 10 fingers

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How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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