Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Q: Why is there a crack in the liberty bell? A:Because someone droped it and it broke

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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- My grand mother died. - I'm sorry.... Did She died of old age ? - No, she got eaten by a giant worm.

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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Mitt Romney

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What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

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Sophie Cameron is Gay

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Obama stumbles upon a KKK meeting. All the klansmen shake his hand and respect him because he is the President.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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