Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? A: A set of Legos

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The man was so gay he grew breasts and got breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a bunch of black guys on mars? a problem What do you call 1 million black guys on mars? a bigger problem What do you call all the black guys on mars? a solution

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What kind of words did the terrorist say on his date? His last ones.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q.What did the German say when he walked into the bar? A.Ich möchte ein Bier bitte. Das würde mich viel besser fühlen. Meine Frau ist gerade gestorben, weil ich sie zu Tode prügeln, und ich bin ein Alkoholiker.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who hacks darts? • Jack Nolan aka Bowlbot 300 J-Bowls

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the Mexican Have for Thanksgiving Dinner? A Turkey you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops