Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

thumb_up thumb_down +20

ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You will never see the a heaven made of pure light with no room for darkness to dwell? Pure light will make you blind, living forever in darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Steve put his trumpet in the fridge? He had begun the early stages of dementia and was becoming increasingly confused and detached from reality. Also he was German.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops