If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. Our fast paced American society holds little value for birds of any species and this particular chicken was flattened by Ford F-150.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin get in the Batmobile.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Whats better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics????? NOT BEING RETARDED!!!!!!!

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops