What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Who wants pizza crusts?

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Justin Bieber.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What is a chair?

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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who ever is reading this....

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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Q: what is socialism? A: a terrible system

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the white teen say to the black man? Sup nigga. What then followed? A savage beating at which the teen did not survive.

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What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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why do black people have dark skin? because they were born that way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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