A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Chuck Norris once starred in a movie with Bruce Lee.

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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What's behind Chuck Norris' beard? His chin

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whats chinese noodles

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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How Many R's are in Terrence? two, how could there be 6?

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Lillie: tell me three adjectives that would describe yourself. Ellie: pretty, smart, and funny. Lillie: if I were to analyze you...I would say you are pretty, smart, and funny.

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Whats fuzzy and greenand if it falls from a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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What is worse than going to school without your homework? Going to school naked without your homework.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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