that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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42, that is all

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roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

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I called your friend gay and he hit me with his fist because he was angry at me for using gay in a derogatory way.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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yes... that's the joke

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Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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Joke.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? The joker was raping robin too hard

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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How much Is a free app on my market?

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops