Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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Im black

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What do you call a cow with no legs? A leg-less cow

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff card at the bottom of a pool.

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Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

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why does jake have so many guns? hes compensating

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops