Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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Guess what! what haha u listened to me

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Why did a boy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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What number comes after 29? 30.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Black people

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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Why did Kelly never see Wass? cus she never looked in right places !!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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