What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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kkk

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Knock knock? Who's there? Llama. Llama who? Llamas aren't racist unlike that bastard Ann Coulter. That's why they can get a carrot up the ass and she can't.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Why cant madeleine mccann play ps3? ive only got an xbox

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Why weren't there any black people at the book sale? Black people don't read.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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Q. what did the white man say to the black man? A. hello

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Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

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What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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