What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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A: I've got a new knock knock jokes! Wanna hear it? B: Yeah. A: Oh you first. B: Knock knock! A: Who's there?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Heath Ledger.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Just kidding, it got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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Why did Martin have to retake his exams? Because Martin is a right royal Dumbass.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but Im on bath salts, and you're face looks tasty;)

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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what did the homeless guy get for christmas nothing!

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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Roses are red Violets are blue So is your face Cuz I just gagged you

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Spell: “This word”

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

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why did the black guy get testicular cancer? because he put his balls in the microwave.

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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