What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

What has two legs but can't walk? A quadriplegic man who lost mobility in his legs due to a horrific logging accident.

the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

Snausages.

Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

nba live 13

what did the black man say to the white man? hi

Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

What did the general say before the soldiers got in the tank? Get in the tank

Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Set an alarm for an appropriate time

Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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