Why did the dog have 2 legs? he got cut in half.

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a rapist.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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A Black man a Chinese man and a Jew walk in to a bar. Black man: nice place they got here Asian man: yeah I remember when it used to be that old hardware store Jew: Henry's, i think it was called Aisian man: must have been there for at least 10 years or so

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Q:What did the furry say to the other? A: Probably nothing, cant be easy speaking with a dick in your mouth...

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What did one chimney say to the other chimney. Nothing, chimneys dont talk.

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What is cold? Winter

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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Knock knock Who's there? Joke Joke who? Auntie Joke Great, could you bake me those cookies I like.

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A viking walks into a bar, and orders 6 beers. the man working asks "why did you order so many beers?" the viking says"because one for me 6 brothers who were separated from me many years ago." then he leaves. the next morning the viking walks into the bar, and orders 5 beers.the man working says"im sorry for your loss." the viking says"what? oo no im just getting tierd of drinking!'

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why did the baby cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken -written by sion dafydd jones, uk

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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A black man and a white woman walk out of a mall restroom holding hands and sweating. The white woman is arrested on the spot for statutory rape and sent to prison for 10 years. The black man was barely 16 years old.

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John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops