Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Flappy Bird is no where near as annoying as you!

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I'm gay. No homo.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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Give me thumbs up!

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Whats white, black, and red all over? A penguin on fire

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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what did one black man say to the other black man? hello

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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how many jews can you fit in a volkenswagen? 2 jews in the front 2 jews in the back 15 jews in the ashtray

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Strawberries!

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SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, he also had no parents.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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YEAH WELL SMELL YOUR BREATH U BELLEND

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between me and convicted pedophile? -The pedophile's been caught ;)

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Women's rights.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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Whats worse than a dead baby in a puddle of blood? A dead baby in soup.

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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Knock Knock trick or treats? here is the candies, have fun kids!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops