why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got two fingers just for you/by kw

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

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You wanna hear a funny joke? Sorry, but I'm really not a funny guy. Not a comedian, you know.

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this is not a joke

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How do you blind a Chinese man You put a blind fold on him

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As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

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69

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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Why did the dodo cross the road Dodos are extinct so therefor they are unable to

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Gays

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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Q: why did the cookie go to the doctor??? A: because he was sick

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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