Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, a poor african child probably has nothing and is starving to death while you and Chuck debate on how to spend your five dollars.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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What did the monkey say to the owner of the world's rarest stamp? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Whats gayer than driving a prius Buttsex

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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Yo momma so lazy she hasn't been to work in weeks and you no longer have electricity or food.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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PUDDING

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's starting to get really hot in here." The other muffin says, "MUFFINS CAN TALK?!"

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Q: How do all 5 gay guys walk? A: In One Direction

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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whatts blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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