What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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A black guy, a white guy and a Pakistani are walking together when they see a lamp, They rub the lamp and out pops a Genie who, with only three wishes to grant, lets them have one wish each. The Pakistani wishes that all people of Pakistani origin are returned to their country with health and wealth. The black guy thinks this is a good idea and asks for the same for all Africans and Caribbean's. The white guy says "are there really no more Pakistani's or blacks in the country?" The Genie confirms this is accurate. The white guy is devastated, who will drive the buses, operate the power stations, produce the medicines and work in the hospitals that these people did? I wish for them to be returned.

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Why is a charlie horse called a charlie horse? Well there was this boy charlie and he had a horse and it died in a fire.

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Gianni

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? getting a vanarial disease and going insane

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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Welcome to die!

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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Q. did u see Stevie wonders new house A. no me. neither did he

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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feces

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A duck walks by to a lemonade stand. He says to the man running the stand, "Quack."

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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It's Adam and Eve, not Steve and Eve!

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A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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A fish and a human had a conversation. The conversation was not interesting because fish can't speak and the human felt awkward.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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