Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

Hey my names cliff. You should drop by sometime

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

How do you confuse a blonde? Speak to her in a nonsensical language of gibberish you have devised without her being able to understand or translate.

Why is there world hunger? Because you touch yourself at night.

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

what time is it? 3:16

What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

There once was a man from Nantucket who had an affinity for wicker furniture.

What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

hey bill!

What did the Dinosaur say to the Seal? Dinosaur's cant.. wait...

What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

A white guy, a black guy, an Indian guy, and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. They drink in moderation and discuss their children, the current state of the economy, and global politics before retiring home to their families.

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

Ham sandwich

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

for keeps?

*insert joke here*

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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