One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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Somewhere over the rainbow.... Is land.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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what is a model plus a poop plus a rhino plus a flamingo a peice of floob split in half or a shelby koon

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Q: Why was the duck hands down hilarious? A: It wasn't, ducks don't have hands and with human beings able to be equipped with emotions such as to see an object or living organism as funny, do not view these mammals in a humorous manner.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says"what can i get for you Sarah Jessica Parker"

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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Cows go moo.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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Reverse psychology never fails.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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