What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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Obamacare haters

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why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

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What is the funny thing about suicide? nothing...

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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gdfhtrfcgsexdfchrthgdfggfhtdtfhdtyfgfdfcghfgdyghhyrtfgrdfdffdtgdfgfghrthfg Alzheimer's.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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Garry Glitters on here

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? There are certainly innumerable differences, but, in general, humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

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Anagram.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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