What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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Johan showering. . . AWK

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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I pooped my pants

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Q: whats up? A: radiation levels in japan

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Yo mama's house is so small that she had to get a better job in order to buy a bigger one.

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Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Everybody leaves except Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson never walked out alive

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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How often does a black women poop? Every nine months.

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Poop

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2 people with ADD are playing baseball. One of them pitches to the other guy and the other guy swings his arms around, misses, then gets hit by a baseball bat. The batter then realized he was the pitcher and the other guy has gone off chasing after a bird that just flew by.

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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What did the colonel say to the soldier before he got into the army tank? Get in.

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Why did the black man wear a coat, shirt, pants, and underwear on a rainy day? Because he didn't want to be naked.

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What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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There women are stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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