Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was your family so sad? because you died due to your uncle's son's cousin urinating all over you as a baby causing you to sting yourself continually. did i mention you were born as a scorpion while your family members were all human beings making them neglect and throw you away in their trash when you would always climb out. your family secretly hid affection for you. back to the beginning. when you died everyone in the whole world except bill cosby got cancer at the exact moment you died, but years later (because bill cosby is immortal), he got down syndrome after everyone who was alive during your death died. that is why he goes doo dop bip babbity today.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the white man cry? Because his mistress, Shanghai, was threatening to tell his wife that they were in a relationship and, out of anger, he bashed Shanghai's head in and she is dead,

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock. Who's there? Dr. Dr who? Dr Johnson. I'm afraid you have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you murder a blonde? You drop a bull dozer on her filled with 2 bulls, 100 wasps and a rabbit squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into a bar and it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +10

heres a great game to play... DEATH TO BABIES!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How did the black kid drop out of highschool? He got bad grades.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have two hands. Some people dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops